That's Grief - Are There Tools That Help?

A woman stands amidst a crowd, solemnly clutching her hands in a moment of grief and reflection.

Grief is such a sacred journey and it is essential to experience for our over all well-being. We naturally assume there is grief around death, however, we often forget grief around transitions in life like changing a job, moving to a new town and leaving another behind, or a change in our health condition where we are facing challenges.

Oddly enough, even in the best of circumstances, like moving to a new city because a good opportunity has been presented to us, there is loss. We leave behind friends and maybe even family. Granted, these aren't as heavy as death, but there is still some loss. We don't take time to acknowledge the bittersweetness of it.

I experienced the oddest kind of grief when I discovered that wind blowing across my face caused pain. The diagnosis here was Trigeminal Neuralgia which caused severe nerve pain across the face. What did I grieve? Time. I love spending time outdoors when it is not too hot. But if there is a breeze, my time outdoors is limited. Too much wind exposure will cause a flare up. Like many, a diagnosis brings grief in some form. It is important that we acknowledge that.

Grief, if left unprocessed can weaken our immune system, disrupt our sleep pattern, and create tension in our muscles. Hormones such as cortisol and adrenaline affect the heart and grief can cause an elevation in those hormones. Grief is carried in our chest - particularly our lungs - which is why we often feel like our chest is heavy or there is something sitting on it. And still, this process of grief, as we move through the sadness, provides healing.

I recently said my final earthly goodbyes to a dear friend and mentor. I was surprised when my acupuncturist pressed along my collar bone at the shoulder and it hurt immensely! After my "Ouch!" and frown, I asked what in the world that spot was.

Her reply, "That's grief. In Chinese Medicine, it is called Dark Cloud."

There was a companion point which she called "Light" where a needle was placed to shed light up on dark cloud. It really helped the physical and emotional pain, providing relief.

Truly, I will grieve this loss in time to come. No grief cycle is ever complete. We simply move from the despair of grief to learning how to thrive while the world we live in is completely different than before.

This loss inspired me to complete the second edition of my book. This book is not simply a book. It is a tool, a journal, through which the user processes the many stages of grief. It includes how the Twelve Powers, as inspired by Unity co-founder Charles Fillmore, can help someone during the grief process. You will find places to share your support crew and list other things that help you during this process.

The first edition was written during the covid pandemic because I knew people would need help processing this devastation that changed our world.

The other thing that inspired me to write it, and the emphasis on Your Way in the title was seeing a dear friend experience the loss of her son. People kept telling her that she should get over it and move on. I was left with eyebrows raised and then perplexed: how could someone who never experienced that kind of loss could tell someone to move on. This sacred journey of trying to figure out what to do with that love we poured into someone is not one to rush. It is holy. And each person's own grief process is unique. It is your way.

Remember that grief is not linear. It is cyclical. It doesn't operate like a list of "to do's" that we can check off. It circles back around and sneaks up on us when we least expect it. May we all reach a stage where we are thriving while living life differently, fully honoring the relationship we lost or experience differently.

In grief, there are tools that help. If you or someone you love could benefit from, Your Grief, Your Journal, Your Way, just click on the title and it will direct you to the product page.